everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
