I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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