I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
