Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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