imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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