You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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