Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize