No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
