He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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