I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize