thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
