I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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