hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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