I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
