Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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