I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
