SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize