On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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