PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
