now i know why i became what i already was.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
