Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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