so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
