I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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