right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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