New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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