Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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