Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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