The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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