If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
