No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
