Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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