I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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