Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
