Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
