Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
