your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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