i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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