i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
