she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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