I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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