Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
