ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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