i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
