You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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