Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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