Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
