There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
