maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Houston, we have a blender
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
