I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
