i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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