I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
