Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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