forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
