i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
