bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
