Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
